Decisions, Decisions

I didn't write much last week. Sorry about that. I was doing something very important. I was DECIDING.

The last year has been full of so much deciding.

Deciding to leave an unhealthy relationship. Deciding to close my flower shop. Deciding to move out and then back in to my house. Deciding to sell almost all of my possessions.

 Let me tell you something about deciding: Deciding is very exhausting.

If you are a careful person like me who likes to have a plan, deciding carries a huge amount of weight. Every decision seems like it has the ability to change your entire life.

I have the additional problem of being a people-pleaser, so any decision that hurts or disappoints another person has added difficulty.

Today I start a new job and this afternoon, if all goes well at the new flower shop, I have to tell my old boss, who is also my friend, that I am leaving.

The pay is better and there are benefits. It is the best decision for me and my kids.

Still, all last week I worried it might be the wrong decision. What if it was too hard? What if my boss was mean? What if leaving my old job was a big mistake?

I told my teenager about my worries.

"Just do it mom," She said. "If it doesn't work out, it's O.K. God will give you something else."

O.K. Here goes another new beginning. Wish me luck.